Through My Eyes
by Mrs.Sumpter
Summary: Hillary just wants to impress Tyson and the others. But do things go too far? And who's fault is it exactly? TyxHill does contain the issue of anorexia
1. Guess not

Hey every one!! I'm baaaaaaack! Um yeah, well you probably don't know me form my first fic, Hostage. It wasn't that popular, I didn't get very many reviews…. * starts crying * soooo meeeeaaannn!! But I'm hoping this will be a bigger success. Anyway let me explain whats going on here. In my fic, I'm telling a persons story, but it jumps around to a few different people. And anything that's in _italic letters _is _song lyrics._ I've always wanted to write a story that has music playing in the background…

*-*DISCLAIMER*-* Unfortunately, oh so unfortunately, I do not own Beyblade. *sigh * Trust me, if I did Kai would be the main character. All that I own is my plot, I do not even own the song lyrics used in the story. *sigh * wish I did though… I'd be freakin rich….

"Just… just leave me alone…" The once beautiful girl turned her crying eyes away. Away from the one person she really loved.

"I don't want to. I never will." The heartbroken boy placed a gloved hand on her thin, fragile shoulder. Her felt her bones sticking out further than they should. He watched as the brunet turned her pale face toward him. Large glistening tears sat on the edge of her eyes, threatening to fall down her frightened face. Frightened. Well that was one word for it. There was also sorrow, hopelessness, despair, fear, doubt and pain. The tear slid down her bony cheeks.

*_Young girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall_

_Young girl it's all right, your tears will dry you'll soon be free to fly_*

It pained him to see her like this. "How could things have gone so …wrong?"  He scoffed at himself. "Yeah right Tyson. Its because of you. You, ya big idiot. " He leaned his head against the brick wall beside him. Tears started to well up in his eyes. "Its all my fault….All. My. Fault."

*_Don't you feel lovely, _

_don't you feel bright_

_You've got that something_

_I only wish you could see,_

_How lovely you are to me…*_

He wished he could go back. We've all had those feelings before, where we've done something incredibly… stupid, and wish life had a rewind button. Some way to go back, make things right. Unfortunately for Tyson and Hillary there was no such thing.

                                                       *1 year ago*

"YEAH RIGHT TYSON, I'M SURE!" Hillary bellowed from the porch. For such a small girl she sure could yell.

"I'VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES HILLARY! YOUR NOT CAPTAIN. YOU DON'T EVEN BLADE! YOU AREN'T EVEN PART OF THE FRIGGEN' TEAM!" Tyson yelled right back at her as he retrieved his blade form the bushes. Those words hurt Hillary more than Tyson would even know. "But…" She was down, a lion lying in the sand injured, venerable. And Tyson being the little vulture that he is, wasn't about to let this opportunity pass him by. " So stop… pretending… to be." He pronounced the words slowly and clearly and with a sense of finality. It was too much for Hillary. Way too much. She whipped around and ran out of the yard.

_*You don't know me, _

_don't ignore me. _

_You don't want me there, you just shut me out. _

_You don't know me, _

_don't ignore me, _

_If you had your way you'd just shut me up. _

_Make me go away *_

Blinded by tears Hillary made her way down the trail that kept to the side of the river. The raging waters reflected Hillary's feelings. 

Sure, Tyson had done this before. Actually, he had done it many times before. But this time, this time was cruel.

Hillary knew she wasn't 'one of them'. She didn't blade, she wasn't one of the team. But she figured that they liked her anyway. That they liked her for her, not her hobbies. 

Guess not.

Ever think you know someone, know what they're feeling, and when they're feeling it? What they're gonna do and when? What they're gonna say? Well Hillary thought she knew all that about Tyson. Keyword: thought.

Guess not.

Of all the dirty rotten things Tyson, or anyone else for that matter, could have done, he went for her one weakness. Her lack of friends. But Hillary had thought that she was doing better. Doing great. She had met the Blade Breakers, who turned out to be really nice. They accepted her. Something that others wouldn't do. She had even fell in love. 

She had started to like Tyson as more than a friend. She had even thought she had a chance with him.

Guess not.

Funny how those two words summed everything up.

Guess not.

Sorry if it didn't make too much sense at the beginning, I like staring off my story's…… confusingly. If that's a word. Anyway, if you liked 

It, review, if you didn't, well…. Don't. No I'm just kidding, I want you to review anyway. I neeed reviews. If I don't get reviews I wont                           continue. So…… 

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	2. Too Bad She Was Wrong

Hey everyone!! Sorry it took me so long to update, I've been sick lately and didn't have a lot of time. So anyway, NOW TO ANSWER THE REVIEWS!

Oh wait, now I remember, THERE WERE NONE!!

So anyway, I'm apparently writing this thing for no one but I'll keep posting anyway. Maybe somebody will read it and like it…..

The next morning, happy, joyful sunlight woke Hillary up at 6 in the morning. Too bad she wasn't feeling all that happy and joyful. Hillary had cried herself to sleep that night. Which Hillary remembered quite quickly as she rolled over on the soaking wet pillow.

" Nice." The brunet lifted herself up and grabbed the pillow. She laid it on her lap and stared at it, lost in thought.

" Its always me isn't it. Always always ALWAYS." She closed her eyes as she whispered a silent plea to her empty room. "Please let today be different."

She pulled herself of the bed and slowly made her way to the door. She placed a hand on the doorknob and looked back at her window. The sun was shinning bright and there were birds flying around in the sky. Hillary smiled and took this as a sign that today was going to be great.

Too bad. She was wrong.

_* I wake up in the morning_

_Put on my face_

_The one that's gonna get me_

_Through another day_

_Doesn't really matter_

_What I feel inside_

_This life is like a game sometimes_ *

Hillary grabbed her book bag and walked towards the front door.

" I'm leaving fro school now mom!" She called over her shoulder. But no response came.

" Why do I even bother. She couldn't care less whether I left for school or left for Mexico." She mumbled to herself as she pulled open the heavy wooden door. AS she walked down her driveway she could hear the happy shouts of children. 

Hillary lived right beside the local Elementary school. Her school, the high school, was 10 blocks away. 

Hillary was going over the events of yesterday and coming up with a plan for today as she walked down the leaf-covered sidewalk. She was trying to decide on what she would say to Tyson. Nothing seemed right. Being mean wouldn't do her any good, and she definitely wasn't about to be nice to him. So she settled on ignoring him. Hey, it worked before, right?

But this raised another question. What exactly did she want Tyson to do? Apologize? An apology just didn't seem like enough this time. Tyson was the king of fake apologies, and handing them out. So if Hillary didn't want Tyson to apologize then what DID she want him to do. 

Hillary thought about that all the way to school. And even when she took a step up the stairs that led to her classroom, she still didn't have an answer. 

" I guess I'm gonna find out when the moment comes." She thought to herself. " Oh my god, I sound so cheesy." She smiled in spite of herself as she opened the door to her 10th grade classroom. As usual she was one of the first to be there. Only a few kids were already at their desks. But what surprised her was that one of them, the one way in the back, was Tyson. She scoffed as she tried to come up with a good reason for him being here this early. 

Nothing.

She pulled out her chair and shoved her books in her desk. She walked back out into the hallway to retrieve her other books from her locker. She smiled at Miss. Kincaid walked past her, heading in the opposite direction. She missed Miss. Kincaid. She missed 8th grade. She missed everything about being 13. Things were soooo much simpler back then. As she approached her gray locker she felt a little depressed, thinking of the easier times just made her remember how depressed she was the day before.

" NO! Stop it Hillary. You've got to stop looking at things so negatively. Stay happy." She thought to herself as she opened her locker.

* _I woke up this morning with a smile on my face  
 Nobody's gonna bring me down today  
Been feeling like nothings been going my way lately  
So I decided right here and now that my outlooks gotta change_ *

She was smiling again as she made her way back down the crowded hallways. She was just about to open the door when something hit her from behind. Hillary dropped all of her books as she slamed into the locker. Someone was holding her from behind, and held her up. 

"HEY! LET GO!" She yelled as soon as she caught her breath. Who ever it was let her go and she dropped onto her knee's. She lifted her head and looked up into the eyes of her attacker. 

" Not you again." Hillary mumbled to the tall, thin, yet surprisingly strong girl. Blonde girl. Popular girl. Samantha Leblanc to be exact. THE most popular of the popular girls in the 12th grade. She was almost a whole foot taller than Hillary. And she constantly loved to pick on her. 

" Get up freak." The normally sugary-sweet girl was now mean and vicious. And not in the mood for games. So Hillary stood up and looked the girl in her baby blue eyes. Samantha walked circles around her and then stopped right behind her. She seamed to be considering what to do next. Just then Tyson walked out of the room. He noticed what was going on and came right over. 

" Oh thank god. He'll do something." Hillary thought to herself. And she waited for it to happen, for him to tell Samantha to stop, push the bully away from her and help her with her book. 

Too bad. She was wrong.

As Hillary began to wonder what was taking Tyson so long, she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. Seconds later she was on the floor watching Tyson's feet retreat back into the room. Samantha had kicked her to the ground. And Tyson had done nothing.

She sat on her knee's and gathered her books as tears began to well up in her eyes. She didn't even notice a couple of the other class presidents helping her gather her books. She just sullenly took them stared at the door to her room.

*_Why should I care_

_You weren't there when I was scared_

_I was so alone_

_You need to listen_

_I'm starting to trip_

_I'm losing my grip_

_And I'm in this thing alone_*

Hillary quickly and quietly went back to her locker. With shaking hands she undid her lock and put her books back inside. She closed it again, barely able to see through her tears. She turned towards the stairs and took a deep, calming breath. She closed her eyes. And without hesitation, she ran. Ran down the stairs. Ran out of the school. Ran down the street. Ran.

*After school *

Hillary sat on the grassy slop watching the leaves being carried down the river, pushed by the current. Simple things calmed Hillary. Unfortunately it wasn't helping the way it used to. Hillary was still a nervous wreck. She was shaking slightly as she pulled her knees up to her chest. There were tear streaks marking her face. Evidence that she had spent the whole afternoon crying. And she was positive that she couldn't cry any more, even if she tried. 

Too bad. She was wrong.

Hillary turned her head as she herd footsteps behind her. She looked up into the face of the one person she REALLY didn't want to talk to at the moment.

" Hi." Was all that Tyson said.

Hillary just continued to stare at him, trying to read his mind and figure out what had happened earlier that day. Nothing.

She turned her head away from him and looked down at the water.

He sat down beside her, taking her silenced  as an invitation.

" I'm sorry." He looked at her but she wouldn't look back. " Really I am. I was wrong for saying all those things yesterday." He said with a slight hint of apology in his voice.

That was all Hillary could take. 

She leaped up and glared down at Tyson. Her shrieks could have been herd form a mile away.

" FOR WHAT YOU SAID YESTERDAY!?!? HELLO! WHAT ABOUT TODAY?!!? WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND WHEN I WAS BEING PUSHED AORUND BY THAT GIRL?! CAUSE IT CERTANLY WASN'T WHAT NORMALLY DOES! NORMALLY YOU HELP THOSE IN NEED! OR AM I NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH FOR YOUR HELP? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Hillary felt tears streaming down her face once more. The tears she had sworn she didn't have left. She wanted to say more but her better judgment told her not to. It told her to let him speak. She thought maybe he'd have something comforting to say. Something that would clear this whole mess up.

Too bad. She was wrong.

" Please come back with us. Everything can go back to the way it was if we just pretend this didn't… happen." Tyson looked at his feet as he gave a feeble attempt to get Hillary back.

*_And I want to believe you_

_when you tell me that it will be ok_

_Ya I try to believe you_

_But I don't_

_When you say everything is gonna be_

_It always turns out to be a different way_

_I try to believe you_

_Not today_ *

" No Tyson. Not- not this time." Hillary shook her head vigorously. She needed him to understand that her pain was beyond apologies. Way, way beyond. 

Tyson looked confused. Obviously his dull apologies had worked before. So why wasn't it working this time. Didn't Hillary want to be around him, want to hang out with him, one to be one of 'them'. " Huh? Wh-what do you mean?" He got up and stood face to face with Hillary. She was trembling slightly and tears were flowing down her cheeks. Tyson felt a stab of guilt. Something he had never felt before. And looking at Hillary made that pain even worse. But Hillary was determined to keep his eye contact.

" I. Am. Not, Excepting. Your. Apology." She viciously whispered leaning towards him. Her face was contorted in fury.  And in the blink of an eye she was off. She walked quickly up to the road, hearing the footsteps behind her. She felt Tyson grab her arm. She whirled around to look him in the eye. His face was anxious, pained. He obviously didn't want her to leave like this.

" Hillary. I don't want you to be angry with me. Please for give me."  He looked as if he was on the brink of tears. Hillary's face softened but her eyes stayed fierce.

" The thing is Tyson, I don't know if I can…" She whispered, her voice full of sorrow and helplessness. 

Tyson's arm fell limp by his side, letting go of Hillary's arm. She gave him a sad look, and as a final tear fell down her cheek she turned and ran off. Leaving Tyson to stand there and do some serious thinking.

"God, I am so stupid! How could I have done this?!" Tyson hit his head against his bedroom wall. He had stood there all day until Kenny had come racing over, asking where he was. Tyson had retreated back home. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. 

" I so didn't think that THIS was going to happen." He laid down on his bed a stared at his ceiling. He didn't know what Hillary was talking about. Or rather, he did know but he wishes he didn't.  He sighed a closed his eyes. He lifted a hand and placed it on top of his face. He wanted Hillary to hang out with them again. But he didn't know what to do. He apologized and it didn't work. He seriously didn't know what to do next. 

And that's how Tyson fell asleep, trying to figure out what to do next.

REVIEWS PLEASE!! I'd like to know whether people like this or not! Thanks for reading.


	3. The List

HI HI HI HI! Kk so thanks everyone for reviewing! I went to read them all (ok, ok, there was only 2 but STILL!) and I got all excited! And Bookie1 I took your advice and I changed my settings so I hope I get more reviews this time. Hutchy (sp?) she stops eating a little while into the story, hang tight. So everyone, please review and enjoy! PS there isn't any music in this chapter, did you guys eve like that anyway? Should I just permanently not include music lyrics anymore? Let me know in your reviews!

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* 1 week later *

Hillary had spent the longest time thinking. She hadn't been to school in the past week, not that it really mattered. Her drunk mother didn't even notice. Her stupid, heartless, drunk mother didn't notice. Hillary didn't even know why she took care of her.

But her mom wasn't what Hillary was thinking about. She had spent the past week thinking about why people didn't like her. Why Samantha didn't like her, why Tyson didn't like her, why nobody liked her. 

Hillary looked out her kitchens front window. People walked by, not a care in the world. Not knowing that there was a desperate girl inside, looking for a way to be what everyone wanted.

Hillary slowly got up out of her chair and slowly made her way up the stairs. She placed a hand on her doorknob and sighed deeply. It's time to take out the list again.

Hillary walked inside and opened her blinds. The sun filtered into her room as she lifted up her mattress and pulled out a piece of lined paper from underneath it.

The title 'Unpopular' was written neatly at the top. Below it was a list of things people don't like about Hillary. 

This was a list Hillary had kept since she was 5 and nobody wanted to hang out with her. Every time somebody snubbed her, she would ask them why. The list got longer and longer as the years went by. And today, today Hillary was going to do something about it.

She sat down on her bed and leaned against the headboard. She read the first offending trait out loud.

" Too bossy."

She looked out her window and watched the seagulls fly down to the beach. 

" Not much I can do there. I am who I am." She sighed. " Not that anyone cares."

She moved onto the next thing.

" Not very pretty." She whispered. She remembered clearly when she had added this to the list. 

It was a school day, and she was walking down the hall to science class. She was just about to come around a corner when she heard voices talking, talking about her, on the other side. She had stopped to listen.

" What about that Hillary girl? You know, in Kincade's class?" A male voice had asked his friend.

" Excuse me?! She's got to be the ugliest thing ever." He had scoffed, retreating down the hall, away from Hillary.

Tears welled up in Hillary's eyes as she remembered the painful memory.

" Well its time to do something about it." She sniffed, whipping her eyes. She folded the list in half and shoved it back under her mattress. She retreated out of her room and ran down the stairs, into her basement. She walked over to the bookshelf on the far side of the room, her head held high.

" Mom used to be a good looking woman." Hillary muttered to herself, looking through the many books. " Ha. Used to be. Before she became a drunk." She added as an after thought. " So I bet she has some dieting book down here…." Hillary continued too look through them. But after half an hour of looking, she came out with nothing. All they had were encyclopedias and dictionaries. She sighed dejectedly, leaning against the concrete walls. 

From in the distance, upstairs to be exact, she heard the doorbell ring. She trudged upstairs, hoping that if she took long enough, they'd leave. No such luck.

 She opened the door to find a scruffy looking Tyson standing there, his hat in his hands.

" Please, hear me out. I want to talk to you." He pleaded. He sounded really tired, as if he hadn't gotten sleep in quite a while. And he looked it too. Hillary grabbed her shoes and slipped them on. She would go outside with him and let him walk her along the block and talk to her. But then she'd leave. Unless he had something good to say.

A few minutes later they were walking around the block, Tyson trying to convince Hillary into coming back.

" I just… don't know Tyson. I mean you've done this before." She accused, all most viciously.

" I know… I know… And I wish dearly I hadn't done it before. I wish I hadn't done it at all. You've got to believe me! Hill!" He grabbed her arm and swung her around to look at him.

" I want you to come back. I want you to help me train. I want you to be my friend again." He said, his voice sounding like he was about to give up, like this was his last chance.

"Let me think about it. Ok?" Hillary whispered, pulling her arm out of his grasp.

" Fine. Just…. Think about it. Promise me you'll think about it." He pleaded, his stormy blue eyes almost tearing up.

Hillary couldn't bare it anymore. He looked so sad. She didn't like Tyson sad. She liked him happy, carefree. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

" I'll come back Tyson. But," She looked up into his eyes. " Things better change." And with that, she turned and walked down the road, heading back home.

* Half and hour later *

"I will go back to Tyson." Hillary thought. "  But I'm not going to give up on the diet thing. Just because Tyson likes me, doesn't mean I should give up. I want EVERYONE to like me." She smiled thinking about how things would work out. Now Tyson liked her again, she had a place to hang out, with friends, and soon enough everyone would like her because she'd be thin and beautiful.

It's too bad Hillary couldn't see into the future. Cause then she would have seen how wrong she was.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!

It's the little purple box right down there!

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	4. Understand Me

HELLO!! Sorry that it took so long to update! I was suffering from a major case of writers block and I couldn't find and lyrics that went well with the story. Well luckily I woke up this morning and felt like writing and I just got these new CD's that had some great lyrics in them. SO here we are, the fruit of my labor! PLEEEEEEZ REVIEW!!!! I LOVE getting reviews!!!!! 

                                                                                        Enjoy

" Ok…I really didn't think it would be this hard." Hillary thought, watching the kids at school scarf down their lunches. 

She had been on this diet for the past month. And it was taking its toll.  Hillary had stopped eating. Yeah, that's her idea of a diet. And she was utterly determined to stick with it. No matter how tired she got. No matter how dizzy she felt. No matter how much she felt like she was making a mistake. She would stick with the diet. After all, that's the only way to get people to notice you. To be thin and beautiful.

And it was true, sort of. She was getting attention. And it was because she was getting thinner. But it wasn't positive attention.

Everyone had noticed that Hillary was getting thin. At first everyone thought of it as a good thing. Hey, she's starting to care about how she looks, that's not so bad. That's what they thought. Never did they realize that she was starving herself to get this way.

Nobody noticed, nobody except Tyson. 

***_There's nothing to lose_

_When no one knows your name_

_There's nothing to gain_

_But the days don't seem to change***_

Tyson had definitely noticed Hillary change in appearance. He didn't think anything of it at first. But then he began to notice the missing lunches, the small salads for diner, the tired expression on her face, and the constant naps. And today he was going to talk to her. He wanted to know what was going on.

Hillary looked up as Tyson tapped her on the shoulder. He had a look of worry on his face. 

"Yeah?" Hillary asked sleepily, stifling a yawn.

Tyson nodded his head towards the classroom door, signaling that he wanted to talk. So Tyson and the confused Hillary walked outside, into the hall.

" What is going on?" Tyson asked, or rather demanded. This definitely caught Hillary off guard. She had no clue what he was talking about. But then it dawned on her. 

What if he knows what I'm doing?

She panicked.

" What do you mean?!" She demanded angrily. Tyson cocked an eyebrow at her defensive tone of voice.

" You haven't been eating have you? You have gotten thinner, and I bet you're starving your self! That's it isn't it!" He questioned, very concerned for his friend.

" ITS NOTHING TYSON!" So what if I went on a diet! SO WHAT! Its just a diet!" She whispered viciously. " I thought you of all people would understand." She turned away from him and crossed her arms.

***_Oh stop stepping in my way   
Not quite what I thought you'd say   
Never find, never mind, never peace god at least   
give me strength just for one more try   
Got to give, need to live long enough just to say   
that I stayed to the end of the big time***_

" I – I don't know why you would starve yourself Hillary. Your – your-" He couldn't find the word her was looking for.

" I'm what?! I'm nice, I'm fine. I'm ok?!" She irritably questioned.

" Your beautiful. Your beautiful the way you are Hill. I don't want you to starve yourself. Your just making yourself worse." He said softly. He wished she would turn around to face him. Wish granted.

She turned around, but her face didn't look that happy.

" Says you." She simply stated, looking him in the eyes. As much as she wanted to, she would not run. She. Would. Not. Run. 

"I thought you would understand Tyson. You of all people." She almost whimpered, trying her hardest to keep her emotions in check.

"Why? Why would I understand you starving yourself? Tyson was confused, and starting to feel sick. He was right, Hill was starving herself. And as much as he loved being right he wished he was wrong.

"Your- your popular. And not just school popular, your internationally popular! You're the biggest name in sports! And you love the popularity don't you? You strive for it. And that's ok, wanting to be popular is normal… right?" She reasoned, grabbing his arm. "Well yeah…" He said, not quite sure what she was getting at.

"Well then why can't I want to be popular, just like you? That's all I want, to be a little popular." She said sadly, leaning against the lockers and slowly sliding own to the floor. "These past few years I've hung out with you guys. I've been your friend." She was referring to the whole team, the Blade Breakers. "But I wasn't one of you, you pointed that out yourself. I don't blade, I don't know most of the rules. And I'm not pretty. All the things that would have gotten me attention, skills, knowledge or just being the pretty cheerleader, didn't quite work for me. I hid in the shadows while you guys had fun, got attention." She closed her eyes as the words came flooding out. All her emotions were taking charge, saying what they had wanted to say for the longest time.

"Hill, I didn't realize…" Tyson began, but Hillary cut him off.

"I know you didn't, no one did. But you get used to no body realizing things. Its part of being a shadow, some one in the background. It comes with the territory." She smiled sadly as she tried to make a joke at her self. 

Nope, that didn't work.

"So. Do you understand?" She asked, looking up at Tyson, willing him to say 'Yes, yes I do.'

Wow, things just weren't working out for her today.

"Yes and no. Mostly no. I understand you wanting to be popular, everyone wants to be popular at some point in there life." He said quickly as Hillary quickly became mad. "But I think the way your going for it… well its beyond understandable. The only person who would understand the position your in would be you." Hillary got up angrily and stormed off towards the classroom. But Tyson reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"Hillary, listen to me! Why don't you try a different way, another way to become popular! I'm sure there are other ways!"

Hillary paused. She was having an inner battle. One side of her wanted her to listen to Tyson, go about this popular thing a different, safer, way. The other side was screaming for her to walk away. Forget him, he's just trying to hog all the attention. And as much as she knew Tyson would never do a thing like that to her, it was too late. Point goes to… forgetting Tyson.

***_I'm sick and I'm twisted_

_I'm broke and you can't fix it_

_Don't make me, cause I'll do it_

_Red button and we'll all go_

_Into the River Bellow__***_

_Thanks guys for taking the time out to read! Please review and I'll try to update sooner this time!!_


	5. New Arrivals

Hello everyone!!! I'm so glad you all like my story! And guess what, I just thought of how I'm going to end it! I found the perfect lyrics and everything! But I wont ruin the surprise for you all, you'll just have to wait until I write it!! But, yay, I'm sooo excited about it!! Anyway, here's the newest chappie of Through My Eyes…..

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It had been 3 months. 3 months. Wow, three month can go by really quickly, or really slowly. 

"That's it Hillary. I'm doing something about this." Tyson had pulled her into an empty hallway after gym class. 

Seeing her, like this, was really starting to get to him. Her legs and arms were pencil thin and her shoulders stuck out oddly. Her cheekbones were jutting out and she looked so pale. And so tired. 

"No Tyson…." She moaned, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Don't… please."  Her body and voice were telling him to stop but her eyes. Her eyes were looking at him sadly, asking for help. 

Which side of her should he go with?

"Hillary I am talking to the hospital and getting you a room and some care." His voice was steady and calm. She took the idea in. She thought about it. It sounded so appealing, so inviting. But should she give in, after all the hard work and will power she had put into losing this weight. 

Should she? Would she? Could she?

Hillary had been starting to doubt whether this was a really good idea, losing all this weight. She was so tired all time, so sleepy. And she was in pain. She was sore when she climbed stairs, when she did anything physical. 

She had thought of working a bit of the weight back on. But then she thought about how close she was to being popular; she knew being skinny would work. It would make her popular. So she had put all doubt to the back of her mind. But now, with Tyson offering, or rather demanding, to take her to a hospital, she wanted to go with him so badly. 

Should she? Would she? Could she?

***_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and its almost over_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No ones here and I fall into myself_

_This truth that drives me into madness_

_I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away_***

"Ok." She whispered, barely audible. Tyson smiled encouragingly.

"Lets go." He placed a hand on her shoulder and headed her to the lockers.

"What? Now!" She opened her locker and put her books on the top shelf.

"Yes, now. You need help and you need it now." HE stashed his stuff in his locker and the two of them walked down the hall towards the exit.

*****3 days later******

"Tyson, I don't need help, really, please, get me out of here!" Hillary whispered urgently, kneeling on her bed and grabbing Tyson by the collar.

"What? Why?!" He asked, gently prying her off of him and setting her back onto her bed.

The people at the hospital had welcomed Hillary and offered her a bed in a private ward. She would get help, she would return to normal. 

But what they were doing to her, to make her better, was freaking her out. They were forcing her to eat, and it was making her fat. Well, in Hillary's eyes anyway.

"They tried to tell me that its just my stomach bloating, cause I haven't eaten in so long. But I know the truth, THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT AGAIN!!" Hillary cried out, retelling the story to Tyson who took a seat beside her bed.

"Hill, hill, please, calm down. They aren't trying to make you fat. They are trying to help you." Tyson said calmly, but this just made her even angrier.

"I KNEW YOU'D TAKE THEIR SIDE!" She wailed, turning her back on him, facing the wall.

***_Never played truth or dare_

_I'd have to check the mirror to se if I'm still there_

_My parents had no clue_

_That I ate all my lunches alone in the bathroom***_

It hurt Tyson to see her so upset, but what could he do? He was trying to help and she wouldn't accept it. And all this trying was starting to wear him down.

"Hill, if you aren't going to listen to me, the one person who may care about you the most, than I give up." He mumbled in defeat. 

"Well… well…" Hillary couldn't think of anything. She couldn't get Tyson to see all this from her side of view, through her eyes.

All this work, the six small meals a day, light workouts and visits from a phycatrist, were really upsetting Hillary. She had put all this effort into getting thin and being beautiful. And she had sincerely thought it was working. But everything was sooo the opposite of working. These people were tormenting her and wouldn't listen top her. She constantly felt sick and apparently everyone thought of her as anything but beautiful.

She looked out the window. The sun was bright and the sky was blue. The birds were chirping and flying through the air. She saw a kite flying a distance off. And through the open window she could hear children laughing. It was a simply beautiful day.

A beautiful, happy, great, cheerful, fairy tale day.

"How ironic." Hillary stated under her breath. 

The window reflected how she wished she felt. She had dreamt of the days before this whole ordeal. Sure, she hadn't been popular then either but at least she was somewhat happy. Whereas now, in this dreaded hospital with regular visits from some idiot who thought talking about her problems would fix them, was absolutely horrible. She couldn't remember being this … this angry, upset, confused, lost. 

And finally all this strain, stress, pressure, caught up with her. Her eyes fluttered close and she fell back onto her bed. She fainted. 

***_Insane assaults, so sly_

_Your well of lies ran dry_

_I cut the cord, free fall_

_From so high we seem so small***_

Ah, the peace and quiet. No worries. No problems. Nothing.

Where the hell am I?

Hillary was drifting around in a dark hole. She was weightless, and emotionless. 

What… what is going on?

She strained her eyes to see something, but there was nothing to see. Just black. Black. And lots of it.

But then she heard something. 

Voices.

Familiar voices.

She listened hard, trying to place where she knew those voices from. And then it hit her. 

Max. Kai. Rei. 

What were they doing there? And where exactly was there?

"Oh man, she looks bad…" She recognized Reis voice, full of concern, but even so Hillary couldn't help but thing 'Gee thanks'.

"What happened?" Max's voice was shaky, and the words came tumbling out.

Hillary knew she had to wake up. She knew. 

But that didn't mean she wanted to.

Want and Knew are two totally different things. 

She inwardly sighed. She made her decision. 

"Hey! She's up!" Max almost yelled, sounding extremely relieved. 

Hillary's eyes fluttered open slowly and she looked up at her visitors. She had been right. But she couldn't bring herself to look them in the eyes.

She sat up slowly, the whole time looking at her lap.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, her voice raspy as if she hadn't spoken in a long time. Which made her think.

"How long have I been out?!" She asked, looking out the window instead of Tyson. 

She knew they would all be disappointed in her. Her only friends, disappointed in her.

"Three days." Was Tyson's reply, saddened that Hillary wouldn't look at him. There was silence for what felt like the longest time. And as usual, Tyson broke it.

"Hillary, I brought them here to show you, show you that you have friends people care-" he began, his words rushed, but Hillary interrupted him.

"You shouldn't have." Her voice was low and dull, but everyone heard it.

***_So I hold my breath until my heart explodes_

_Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes_

_You can steal my body but you cant steal my soul_

_Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes***_


	6. Final Decsion

Hey everyone! I apologize a hundred times over for the wait! But here it is, the last chapter. The one you guys have been waiting for. I hope you like it, and if you don't, well too bad! Please review cause I wanna know what you guys think! So here it is, please enjoy!

...A few days later...

Hillary had fought with all the strength she had left to keep Tyson from making her feel bad. And although she was hiding it surprisingly well, her soul was enveloped in grief and guilt.

Hilary slept a lot at the hospital, but it wasn't a deep sleep. As she slept she could here the Blade Breakers talking all around her.

"There's got to be something we can do." Max had said a million times over.

"Its up to her now." Kai had always answered wisely. Which evidently pissed Tyson off.

"If we leave it up to her she'll die." He would continuously yell.

Which made Hillary think.

Do I want to die?

It would make things easier.

There would be no guilt.

I'd be free.

Death did seem like an appealing option. Quick and simple. And it could be accomplished in seconds. The only thing that was keeping Hillary alive at the moment was her will to live. As soon as she gave up, it would be over.

So the question is, should I die?

Dying would make everyone sad.

But they have each other; I on the other hand, have no one.

_It's the same old song  
We're just a drop of water, _

_in an endless sea  
All we do  
Just crumbles to the ground, _

_though we refuse to see  
Dust in the wind  
All we are is dust in the wind_

She spent the next few days thinking, not waking up at all. Kai left first. His departing words to her were "make the right decision."

Sure Kai, whatever.

Then Rei left shortly after. He said he had to get back before school starts up again. But before he left he places a hand on Hillary's shoulder and whispered "Get better soon."

Then, unwillingly, Max had left, saying that his mom wanted him to get back home before beybaldeing season started. As tears rolled down his face he sniffled back sobs and sat down beside Hillary's bed.

"Please, please don't leave us. We need you here." He said sadly, biting his lip in frustration.

"See what I'm doing to people," Hillary thought angrily to herself. "I'm completely ruining their spirits. Maybe it would be best if I just died. Then they'd all have a few weeks to get over it and they'd all be happy again. They could stop worrying about me. I'm only weighing them down.

The only thing that was holding Hillary back was death itself.

Thinking about what she would be doing to herself was torture. Nobody really wants to die. Nothing can make you that sad. You may think you want to die, but the feeling will pass if you give it enough time.

But Hillary didn't have time. She had pain and suffering.

Being anorexic wasn't just tough on the soul, it hurt physically. Her muscles groaned in protest and her bones ached. Her head was constantly pounding, making thinking so hard. And all the tubes they had shoved down her throat, one for breathing and a few for food and water, were totally grossing her out. She was constantly tired but the pain kept her awake.

Anorexia was no walk in the park.

But I'm guessing you already knew that.

Most people think of anorexia as a dieses, and that people with it are bad people.

But you all know that Hillary isn't a bad person. She's just confused and venerable. And dieting seamed like the best option. It would make her popular, or at least that's what the TV and magazines said. But she never imagined her self like this. In such physical and emotional pain, and all because she was too thin.

The path she had chosen had too many bumps for her to handle. But she weathered them all. Until she came across a huge ditch. Something so big and powerful that it kept her from getting to what she wanted. And it was time to face that ditch one last time.

Hillary opened her eyes slowly and saw nothing at first. The blinding white of the walls and ceiling temporarily blinded her, but her eyes gained focus after a moment. Turing her head to the right she saw Tyson, fast asleep.

I probably shouldn't wake him…

I probably shouldn't have gone on that diet either….

Hillary lifted herself up and weakly poked Tyson in the head.

"Huh?" He lifted his head and saw Hillary, sitting up with her blankets wrapped around her shoulders, staring back at him.

"I've made a decision." She said quietly, patting the empty space o the bed beside her. Tyson stood up and hopped up onto the bed beside her, rubbing her shoulder gently.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes a mixture of emotions. There was joy because she had woken up and anxiety because she sounded so serious.

With a deep breath Hillary made one of the last few statements she'd ever make.

"Death is good. I'm opting for death."

Tyson didn't bother to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. He seemingly struggled for words.

But his answer shocked Hillary.

"Ok."

He bit his lip as Hillary looked up into his face.

"You're ok with it?" she asked happily, leaning her head weakly against his shoulder.

He nodded sadly.

"It would be selfish to keep you from something you want so much. Even if that something is death."

She took a deep breath. She had been so afraid that Tyson would have fought with her. This made things so much easier.

"Just know, that I love you and I'll miss you so much." He said slowly, kissing the top of her head gently.

"I know. I love you too."

_Hold on to me love_

_You know I can't stay long_

_All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid_

_Can you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

_Holding my last breath_

_Safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light_

_It ends here tonight_

_I'll miss the winter  
a world of fragile things  
look for me in the white forest  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me I can taste it in your tears_

_Holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light _

_It ends here tonight_

_Closing your eyes to disappear  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
but still you wake and know the truth  
no one's there_

_Say goodnight  
don't be afraid  
calling me calling me as you fade to black  
  
_

"Goodbye Tyson."

"G-goodbye Hillary…"

..............Review, and please let me know what you thought!.................

By the way, check out my other stories, ::Fulfilling Destiny:: Have You Seen Clarity? And I'm Already There

Bi bi for now! Hugs and Kisses!


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